Washington: Where It Always Rains, the Coffee Is Strong, and the Volcanoes Are Uncomfortably Close

Welcome to Washington, the "Evergreen State," named after George Washington, though ironically he never set foot here—probably because he heard about the gray skies and decided his wooden teeth couldn't handle the humidity.

It’s a place of wild geographical mood swings. On the west side, you’ve got Seattle, a city built on an endless supply of espresso, tech money, and people who will aggressively defend the fact that "it’s not actually raining, it’s just a heavy mist." It’s home to the famous Pike Place Market—where fishmongers literally throw dead salmon at each other for entertainment—and the Space Needle, which locals mostly use as a directional compass rather than an actual destination.

Head a bit further west and you’ll hit the Hoh Rain Forest, one of the quietest, mossiest places on Earth, where trees look like they’re wearing fuzzy green sweaters. But cross over the Cascade Mountains to the east side, and suddenly you’re in a sunny, dry desert filled with endless apple orchards and wine country, proving the state has a severe personality split.

And then, looming over everything like a giant, icy threat, is Mount Rainier, an active stratovolcano that locals love to look at, right up until the day it decides to ruin everyone's weekend.

Between wearing socks with sandals, obsessing over Orca whales, and trying to spot Bigfoot in the thick pine forests, Washington is quirky, stunning, and deeply caffeinated. Just remember: if you open an umbrella in Seattle, the locals will know you're a tourist.

September, 2021