The Netherlands: Where the Land Is Flat, the Bikes Outnumber the People, and Cheese Is a Personality Trait

Welcome to the Netherlands, a country so miraculously engineered that half of it exists below sea level, leaving its citizens in a constant, high-stakes battle against the ocean using a network of dikes, windmills, and pure, unadulterated willpower.

It’s a land completely dominated by two-wheeled vehicles. In Amsterdam, bikes don't just have right of way—they have absolute authority. Stepping onto a red bike lane as a clueless tourist is considered an extreme sport, and you will be aggressively dinged at by a local riding a rusty upright bike, carrying two toddlers, a bag of groceries, an umbrella, and a bouquet of tulips while casually texting.

Then there’s the famous Dutch directness. The locals don't waste time with polite fluff; if your new haircut looks ridiculous, a Dutch person will tell you directly to your face with a warm, friendly smile. This no-nonsense attitude translates into Gezelligheid—a central cultural concept that loosely translates to "coziness," which involves sitting in a warm cafe, drinking a beer, and eating bitterballen (scalding hot deep-fried gravy balls) or warm stroopwafels while watching the rain fall outside.

Geographically, the country looks like a perfectly manicured postcard. You can cruise along 17th-century canals lined with impossibly narrow, leaning gabled houses, wander through sprawling fields of neon-colored tulips at Keukenhof, or visit traditional cheese markets like Gouda, where massive wheels of dairy are traded with aggressive hand-claps.

Between marveling at world-class art by Van Gogh and Rembrandt, dodging endless streams of bicycles, and realizing that 6-foot-4 is considered average height here, the Netherlands is organized, vibrant, and delightfully open-minded. Just look three times before crossing any red pavement, embrace the directness, and never, ever call it "Holland" in front of someone from Utrecht!

December, 2007
October, 2003
and much more on diving trips