Belgium: Where Fries Are a Culinary Triumph, Beer Is Trappist Science, and Politics Is Too Confusing to Explain

Welcome to Belgium, the self-proclaimed crossroads of Europe: a country so uniquely split between Dutch-speaking Flanders in the north, French-speaking Wallonia in the south, and some Germans put somewhere at the end, that it once went 541 days without an official government, and nobody in the cafes even noticed.

It’s a nation operating on strict, unapologetic gourmet priorities. First rule: never call fries "French fries." In Belgium invented, fried potatoes are a national art form: double-fried to golden perfection in beef tallow, served in paper cones, and smothered in mayonnaise (or andalousse sauce) from street stalls called frituur/friture. Follow that up with thick, liege waffles dripping with caramelized pearl sugar, and chocolate so outrageously smooth that every other country’s candy aisle feels like a personal insult.

Then there’s the beer. Belgian brewing is essentially a holy sacrament performed by quiet monks in Trappist monasteries. With thousands of varieties, ranging from fruity lambics to heavy quads pushing 12% ABV, every single beer has its own custom, legally mandated glass shape. Serve a Duvel in a Chimay glass, and the bartender will quietly ask you to leave the premises.

Visually, Belgium looks like a fairy tale designed by medieval stonemasons. In Bruges, you can glide down cobblestone-lined canals under gothic arches, feeling like you’re inside a snow globe. In Brussels, you’ll marvel at the grand, gold-trimmed Grand Place before walking around the corner to join a crowd of tourists taking photos of a surprisingly small bronze statue of a boy peeing into a fountain (the famous Manneken Pis).

Between deciphering street signs written in three official languages, marveling at surrealist art by René Magritte, and navigating the headquarters of the European Union, Belgium is quirky, decadent, and delightfully modest. Just leave your diet at the border, order a heavy beer, and never, ever disrespect the mayo!

My home country

Personal Note: Belgium is my home country. I grew up there. Back in the days, there were only manual cameras and no smartphones. And I was a kid. There was no photography involved at all.
But Belgium is fantastic. We have tons of history and the best food in the world. No bias there *kuch*. If you want to discover this great country that is so small you passed the border without even blinking, you will have to go and check it out yourself. You will not be disappointed.