Arizona: Where the Sun Is a Personal Enemy, the Cacti Are Huge, and the Hole in the Ground Is World-Class

Welcome to Arizona, a state where "it’s a dry heat" is the official slogan used to justify the fact that your steering wheel can legally cook a steak between June and September.

It’s a land where nature decided to dial everything up to maximum drama. Home to the Saguaro cactus—a majestic plant that takes 75 years just to grow an arm and exists primarily to judge your parking skills—and the Grand Canyon, a hole in the dirt so massive and stunning it will make you instantly forgive the state for being 115 degrees.

In the south, you’ve got Phoenix, a giant sprawl of air-conditioned golf courses where summer outdoor activity consists of sprinting from your car to the front door like you’re dodging sniper fire. Up north, Sedona offers majestic red rocks, world-class hiking, and enough crystal-vortex energy to supposedly align your chakras while you buy a $12 smoothie. Keep going past Flagstaff, and you’ll hit actual pine forests and snow, completely ruining everyone’s assumption that Arizona is just one massive, endless cat litter box.

Between dodging rattlesnakes, watching out for javelinas (which look like wild pigs but are actually aggressive, smelly hairballs), and marveling at sunsets so beautiful they look completely photo-edited, Arizona is wild, gorgeous, and delightfully unhinged. Just touch the seatbelt buckle with extreme caution, drink three times your weight in water, and never, ever touch the cacti.

September, 2019